How To Develop A Thicker Skin For Freelancing
I saw someone the other day ask a question about developing a thicker skin. They were working as a copywriter at some agency.
Now, I don’t work at an agency, so the advice isn’t directly applicable. Here’s how I’d approach getting a thicker skin to deal with freelancing, working with clients and delivering projects of value though.
One: Get Better
The first thing you should do is commit to getting better.
Everything you receive in criticism is a guideline for the future. This not only extends to things said:
- “This copy isn’t persuasive”
- “This website doesn’t look right”
- “You are late, where’s my work?”
It also applies to things unsaid. If a client disappears on you during the planning stage never to be seen again, there’s something wrong with your acquisition. If your client disappears after you’ve done the work but when it’s time to pay, then you’ve done something really wrong there and it’s something you need to address in terms of how you approach the “getting paid” part of the job.
The easiest way to survive an attack on your sense of worth isn’t about developing a thicker skin; it’s to take the thickness of your skin out of the equation.
You get hit with something unpleasant once and then you learn how to dodge. The learning experience is important and your emotional reaction isn’t.
Two: Get Better Clients
This is a point I wish I’d learned earlier. I’m always writing it on this blog, but it can’t be repeated enough: If you constantly have a bad time with every client you have, then one of two things is an issue:
- You’re not very good at your job
- You’ve got terrible clients
The former is rectified by the last section. Also, you’ll find that people, even when you give them a bad product, aren’t rude in general. Some people will say, “Why is this so terrible?” but they’ll generally be polite (unless you really shouldn’t be charging. Obviously check your work against other professionals.)
If a person is rude – and multiple people are treating you badly – then those are good signs you have bad clients.
They will sink your morale faster than anything else.
Most freelancers get this when they work on freelance websites or otherwise try to compete on price. Bottom-barrel freelance website clients always want more without paying the price tag. They’re cheap, ungrateful and demanding.
Get rid of them ASAP.
Three: Get Paid
This ties into the above point.
When you start in business, everything seems pretty terrifying. You have a handful of (potentially bad) clients and you have bills to pay. A lot of that stress never goes away.
But it’s made easier by getting paid.
That’s not only for the obvious reasons: More money = better life = more freedom = less reliance on any one future opportunity.
It’s also for hidden reasons too. A big one when it comes to morale and your ability to take criticism is that you know the value of your service when you get paid for it.
As an example, think about a web designer who does E-Commerce stores for SME’s.
They might get paid £5k-£10k per project.
You don’t have to do many of those projects before someone saying, “You can’t build websites!” holds absolutely no water.
Obviously you’re good at what you do, because otherwise why do people pay for you?
Four: Learn About Projection
When you get a torrent of abuse – and it happens no matter how skilled or good natured you are – it feels pretty rubbish. This is natural.
What’s not natural is somebody calling you a piece of shit and telling you to kill yourself because you won’t reduce your rate by 50% halfway through an agreed upon project.
But that might happen.
Here’s what you have to bear in mind when you get unreasonable feedback or demands.
If someone goes from reasonable to completely deranged in a short exchange, then they have issues and it’s likely that you haven’t done anything wrong – or they’re being disproportionately negative.
If someone tells you, “You can’t do this” or “You should do this!” then that’s their set of expectations, not yours.
Most clients who go mental have wildly inaccurate projections or expectations. That’s not your fault.
Forget it, ignore it and move on.
You need to do two things:
- Extract the information you need from their angry rants
That’s what allows you to continue the job.
- Be very clear from the outset what your project’s goals and objectives are
This means that it doesn’t matter if your client is kicking and screaming – if you’ve said you’ll deliver a 1,000 word article and you deliver it, that’s your job done as you’ve both agreed.
Final Thoughts
Like I said above, having a thicker skin isn’t really about having a thicker skin.
It’s about moving on, moving forward, learning from experiences and then using those experiences to position yourself better and improve your performance.
As long as you are honest and clear about what you do and you perform to a professional level, then you shouldn’t have to take abuse. Reposition yourself to work with better people if you do.
As far as receiving valid criticism goes, remember it’s not about you so much as it’s about the end product. It’s a chance for you to get better, improve your service and ultimately become more valuable.