Understand Your Strengths
A friend and I were having a conversation today. It was originally about writing fiction. However, it morphed into a more general conversation about understanding and using your strengths, understanding your own blind spots and limitations, and so on.
The first mistake that many make is that they don’t really know themselves; we’re all guilty of it to some extent. I know a guy who is incredibly, incredibly aware of his own sense of self, and it utterly consumes his ability to do anything. For most people, there’s a built-in lack of self-awareness that stops this happening, and it’s for the most part a good thing.
Too much self-analysis leads to paralysis. We can’t have that. Besides, on a day-to-day basis where everything stays the same and works as it should, it’s a simple waste of energy to question one’s self and motivations.
The difficulty comes when you’re trying to change something; quit a bad habit, start a new venture, maybe leave the basement and meet a girl. (Woah, let’s not get too carried away!)
When you’re trying to change paths, you need to understand what you’re about; your strengths, limitations and so forth. If you don’t you’re probably going to try something that doesn’t work based on advice that either you came up with, (from your limited position of being a beginner,) or you got from someone else (who isn’t you.)
Understanding, for instance, that you lack discipline, is a great thing. Sure, it’s not as useful as being disciplined, but the act of knowing that about yourself gives you two things over failing; 1) you won’t waste energy and time writing down a 64-point checklist to be done every day for the next six months, and 2) you have a target to work on later, (i.e. build discipline.)
Compare the above to thinking you’re going to be able to do the 64-point checklist and failing – and the effect that failure would have on you.
An Example MBTI Approach
I’m going to use an example I used today. Regardless of whether you’re into psychological typing or not, (and you probably should be for reasons I’ll explain in another post,) the idea that we each have cognitive functions that help us navigate the world is a useful one. When it comes to what I described above, it gives you insight as to the likely problem you have, as well as the potential solution.
So, the aforementioned friend and I both struggle at times with procrastination. We’re both quite intelligent, have a lot of hobbies and interests that distract us, and ultimately, procrastination is procrastination however you excuse or rationalise it; and so the problem is the same for both of us.
Except where it isn’t.
In terms of cognitive stacking, my dominant way of viewing the world is through introverted intuition. Effectively, I create an internal map of the world, and then use extraverted thinking, (the second most dominant cognitive function I use) to make it happen.
Chances are, when I’m procrastinating, it’s because I’m stuck in the mental model of the world. It’s a pitfall that most systems-thinkers are wont towards. Generally speaking, for me if either of these two things manifest; 1) my mental model isn’t accurate enough, or 2) the mental model of the world doesn’t align with what I want it to be, then the whole thing collapses and I get stressed.
It took me a long time to work out, but when in this state, the extraverted thinking, (so, execute the plan no matter what,) is the way out of the hole.
My friend, on the other hand, has Introverted Feelings, (so, personal values,) as his most dominant function. He has extraverted intuition as a second function, and introverted sensing as a third function.
Now, we’re quite similar in our general outlooks in the world, but it manifests differently due to how we filter information through these functions. That’s sort of a detour and outside the scope here, but here’s where it’s relevant to procrastination;
My friend is far more attuned to the world than I am. He’s better with details, with getting inside peoples’ heads and understanding why they’re doing what they’re doing. More than once he’s told me to stop giving advice to someone because I’m more of an “every tool’s a hammer” kind-of person. (It’s the execute the plan thing.) However, he’s not a systems-thinker; when faced with a problem, he can’t set a schedule and stick to it regardless of everything else around him.
So, for him, the way out is different. But it still involves that second function; in his case, extraverted intuition.
Namely, his way out of a hole is to detach himself from the problem and explore different ideas, opportunities and avenues until he is taken away by a found solution and thus finds himself past the original problem.
Your Strengths Will Change
It’s worth noting – and it’s a mistake people make when they talk about cognition or personality – that we can change. People think they’re immovable objects, buying into the view of themselves as a constant thing. Like I said in the introduction, that’s great if you don’t want to waste energy when in a static part of your life, but when change is wanted, it’s not helpful.
It’s also not accurate.
Your cognitive stack develops through your life. Your personality changes due to age and exposure to new things.
With them, your strengths and perceived weaknesses also change.
When I was a lot younger, I was terrible at social cues. I wasn’t good at socialising in general. Now, you probably wouldn’t notice if I didn’t tell you that, and arguably, I’m better than I would have been if I’d started as a natural. That’s age, working on it, and finding ways to express myself socially due to understanding better who I am.
There’s obviously an age and experience component to changing strengths, but as I’ve written before, there’s always an angle. In this case, the angle is finding out how to make the most of your specific cognitive make up and then working out how to apply that to the problem.
(And that – perfect example of a systems-thinking approach. Those of you who are more feeling or sensory-based would probably just try something new out. And that’s fine. So long as you know!)